


dusk

by geckointhegarbage



Series: times of day [1]
Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Established Relationship, M/M, thanks a lot ep 7 i now have depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geckointhegarbage/pseuds/geckointhegarbage
Summary: Reki shakes his head, the tears making themselves apparent in the sparkling light of the sun. “Langa, you’re not getting it. I’m holding you back. I’m not as skilled as you are. I’m not good enough for you.”“You’re everything to me. Always have been and always will be.”“Not anymore.” Reki takes a deep breath gnawing at his lower lip for a second before the words spill out of his mouth like a gushing waterfall. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Series: times of day [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186745
Comments: 22
Kudos: 140





	dusk

Sunsets are their thing. 

It’s been their thing for as long as Langa can remember. Sunsets were for skating at the seaside park, or following a smooth path for as long as it would go along the shore. Sunsets were for gentle touches and caresses under the wide branches of old trees. Sunsets were for the gentle touch of lips on his, hesitant and uncertain at first, before they became more confident and strong. Sunsets, just as everything else in the world, are for Reki. 

Langa waits for him at the skatepark, his skateboard untouched. Reki loves to watch him skate. He doesn’t want to get tired before Reki even gets here. The sun is just kissing the horizon. Langa furrows his brow, checking his phone once again to see if there are any messages from his boyfriend. Nothing. Not even a “read” next to the six messages Langa already sent. 

He’s tempted to call him to make sure he’s okay, or text Reki’s mother. Langa panics for a moment, afraid that something happened to him, and that’s why Reki isn’t answering anything. A heavy feeling settles in his chest. Maybe he’s hurt somewhere and no one can get to him. Maybe he needs Langa and Langa isn’t there for him. Just as Langa stands to find him, Reki appears from the path they so often travel together. 

Langa can tell instantly that there is something wrong. Reki’s skateboard isn’t with him. His usually brightly dyed sweatshirt was exchanged for a worn navy one. His eyes don’t meet Langa’s. His legs don’t come running, wrapping Langa up in a tight hug and kissing him senseless. The heavy feeling in Langa’s heart returns, the overwhelming sense that something isn’t right with the way Reki is so precariously walking, with the way that Reki has been keeping his distance from Langa lately. 

“Reki?” Langa calls out hesitantly. “Are you alright?”

Reki finally looks up at him, though his gaze is more over Langa’s shoulder at the dropping sun than at Langa’s crystal eyes. “Just fine, baby.” He takes a few more careful steps until he is standing in front of Langa. It’s only at this distance that Langa notices just how flushed Reki’s cheeks are and the redness of his eyes. Reki’s been crying. Langa wants to fix it. 

“What’s hurting you?” Langa asks, stepping forward to take Reki’s hand in his as he always does. Reki pulls away. 

“Why don’t we sit?” Reki says, ignoring Langa’s question. “Enjoy the view.” He walks down the few stair steps to the beach, taking a seat in the sand. Langa follows wordlessly, just as he always does with things that concern Reki. He’s always with him, always supporting him. He hopes, prays, that Reki knows this and can trust him with whatever is stabbing at his chest. Langa slips off his shoes before walking on the sand, placing them on the last step. His bare feet slip in the soft sand. It’s one of his favorite feelings, the one of being on the beach. The water, sand, and sky brings him so much calm and safety. The beach reminds him of Reki, just as all other good things do.

They sit in silence for a few moments, Reki’s eyes trained on the setting sun while Langa’s are trying to puzzle together what exactly has Reki looking so broken. The ocean waves beat at the shore in a comforting rhythm. 

Langa decides that he is going to be the first to break the silence. “Reki, please. What’s hurting you?” he pleads. “I can help you, just let me in. Please, Reki, just-”

Reki shakes his head, his eyes getting wet. “No, Langa. No. You can’t help me anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

Reki opens his mouth to speak, but his tongue catches on the words and they die in his throat. He tries again, composing another safer sentence. One that he thinks Langa will benefit from as time goes by. One that’s a little less selfish. “I’m not right for you.”

Langa is taken aback. Again, he reaches for Reki’s hand. Again, Reki pulls away. “What? How are you not right for me? Reki, we’re best friends. We’re  _ boyfriends _ . How are we not right?”

“You have hopes, dreams. I’m just holding you back, Langa,” Reki exhales. His voice is congested with emotion. Langa can feel tears prick at his own eyes at the pain in Reki’s voice. “I’m not good enough for you. I can’t keep up.”

Langa doesn’t reach out again like he feels inclined to. Instead he clenches his fists, looking for the right words to set the record straight. Reki’s words aren’t right, they just  _ aren’t _ . He and Reki are a team. Push and pull, loud and quiet, red and blue. They are meant to be together, on equal ground. They always are and always have been.

“Of course you’re good enough for me, Reki. Hell, you’re more than enough for me,” Langa begs. “Reki, you mean the world to me. I wouldn’t be a skateboarder or have ever found my place in Japan without you. You lead me here, as my teacher, my mentor, and my friend. You cared for me when others couldn’t and always knew the right things to say. We’re skateboarders together, we have a bond. I’ll always have you, and you’ll always have me.”

Reki shakes his head, the tears making themselves apparent in the sparkling light of the sun. “Langa, you’re not getting it. I’m holding you back. I’m not as skilled as you are. I’m not good enough for you.”

“You’re everything to me. Always have been and always will be.”

“Not anymore.” Reki takes a deep breath gnawing at his lower lip for a second before the words spill out of his mouth like a gushing waterfall. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Langa grips the fine beach sand. “What do you mean, ‘don’t want to see you anymore’?”

Reki turns to him, the pain in his eyes overwhelming. The typically soft caramel is replaced by a dark mess of molten lava, an emotion so intense and hurt that Langa has never seen before in his best friend’s eyes. He decides immediately that he hates it. He has to fix it. He wants to take a bandage and put it on the wound, smooth it over with the pad of his thumb, and press a kiss there for good luck. The hitch in Reki’s throat, however, crashes into Langa like a tidal wave. This isn’t a wound that can be healed with a bandage and a kiss. This is a wound that needs stitches, gauze, and time. And Langa is the weapon that caused it.

“Langa, I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.”

Langa feels himself hit by the same tidal wave that crashed into Reki. It’s suffocating. There are bubbles of air all around him in the seafoam but each inhale feels like fire is flowing into his lungs. Langa can’t lose the one person keeping him happy in Japan. He can’t. 

“Why?” Langa’s voice is much smaller than he intended it, but it is fitting for how he feels. 

Reki’s tears only increase in number and size as he speaks. “I told you, I’m not good enough for you. It’s better if we weren’t so close anymore. You’re going to make a fuckin’ amazing skateboarder, Langa. I’m sure of it. But I don’t want to keep you stuck at square one.”

“I-I’m not stuck here! I’m not stuck anywhere, not with you by my side. You give me direction, Reki. Please, I beg you, stay with me.”

Reki shakes his head regretfully. Langa can feel both his and Reki’s pain grow with each passing second. “I can’t do that to you,” Reki explains. “I’ve been feeling it f-for a while. And I k-know you have too. The distance between us? I saw that with the distance you were able to jump up a rank, Langa. A whole rank! You’re on your way to being the best skateboarder in ‘S’. Don’t let me hold you back, please. Don’t hurt me more by making me your weakness.”

Langa tries to speak but his head is so deep underwater that no words can crawl their way out. He’s drowning in the guilt and pain and regret and-

Reki stands. “I’m going to go now. I’m sorry you had to see me like this.” He begins to step off the beach, walking back up the stairs and down the path. Langa gets on his feet with him, scrambling to try and catch up to him. 

“Reki!” he cries, his voice thick with tears. “Reki! Come back!” 

Reki, for the first time, doesn’t react to his voice. No “Hey Langa!” or “God, I missed you” or “Whatever you say, hotshot”. The silence is deafening. 

Langa tries to make strides to reach him. He jogs a little ahead, but his legs feel like lead weights are strapped to them. The current was already pulling him under. Now he’s just descending at a faster rate. Langa stops going after him, letting Reki disappear and leave him. 

The sun is still setting when Langa collapses to his knees and sobs for his lost lover. It doesn’t provide any comfort. Unlike what many think, the sun is cold. It doesn’t always offer comfort when it’s needed. Langa doesn’t think it ever has. 

Reki sobs as soon as he turns the corner, but keeps walking. His vision is getting blurrier by the second and it’s dark outside, the sidewalk illuminated by street lights. Oh, if only he wasn’t so  _ in love _ . If only he had the courage to take Langa in his arms, press his forehead to Reki’s, and whisper in gentle tones, “Langa, I love you”. Reki curses at his own cowardice, but embraces the reality he has brought into fruition.

At least now, he has given up sunsets. Langa can spend them with someone deserving of his love, of his compassion, of his everything. Reki is more than happy to watch him grow from the sidelines. 

Sunsets were their thing. 

**Author's Note:**

> so i watched episode 7 today. i am so. so sad. so i wrote a fic about how SAD i am in less than an hour. if there are spelling mistakes i am so sorry it is 1am and i am just full of feelings. i have happier sk8 fics i promise !!! just needed to get this out of my system. i hope you enjoyed at least a little ! comments, kudos, and shares are appreciated <3
> 
> twitter: @geckointhetrash


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